


A Final Goodbye

by lexlibrary (SpaskaAlekha)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 09:52:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16870774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaskaAlekha/pseuds/lexlibrary
Summary: “Imagine being given the permission by Odin to visit Loki while he’s in prison to tell him that he is going to be a father.”





	1. A Final Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from tumblr

The knock on your door was quiet but firm. “Come in”, you said, looking up to see an elderly woman enter the room. Her hair had a dirty brown colour which was mixed with lots of silver strands and it was pulled up into a tight and neat bun. She was wearing simple clothing which’s style and colour identified her as one of the leading physicians of Asgard. There were wrinkles around her eyes and mouths but her face seemed soft rather than harsh. She bowed but you waved her off. “There is no need to do that. Not after…” you huffed out a sigh and turned towards the window, trying to ignore the tight knot in your stomach.

She seemed to understand and got closer to where you were sitting on the edge of your bed, putting down her case on the bedside table and eyeing you carefully. “Why did you call for me?” she asked, folding her hands neatly in front of her. You turned towards her, eyeing her and sinking back tiredly. “What is your name, if I may ask?” She looked surprised, obviously wanting to state the irrelevance of that but you gestured for her to just answer your question. “Aunril, Milady” she answered and you nodded slightly. “I haven’t been feeling well for the past days. At first, I hoped that I was simply ill and it would go away but now… I do believe I have an idea about what is wrong with me. I need someone to either confirm or deny it, even though I hope it is the latter one.” Aunril examined you for a moment in silence, then asked “And what am I supposed to confirm or deny?”

Your hands gripped the fabric of your dress tight and you looked at your hands, knuckles turning white before you quietly, almost soundlessly admitted “I am afraid that I am pregnant.” She stiffened for a moment, then came closer. “With all due respect, why would that be a problem?” You forced yourself to let go of your dress and straightened your back a little. “Apart from the fact that the child’s father will be imprisoned for the rest of his life and even if he would be released, he would stay an outcast? Or what about the heritage of said child? I wouldn’t be able to raise it here on Asgard but I couldn’t do it alone either. A few years prior, it would have been a blessing. Now it is more of a curse.” You stood up abruptly, feeling sick while speaking but as harsh as it sounded, it was the truth. As a cold breeze swept through one of the open windows, you shuddered and wrapped your arms tightly around yourself.  
A defeated sigh left your lips after a while of tense silence and your shoulders slumped slightly. “Whatever the result may be, I want you to promise me to keep it to yourself. It is my responsibility to tell whoever has to know. Can you do that?” You turned slightly, looking at her and she nodded firmly. “Of course. Now, please, if you allow it, I would like to start with the examination.

* * *

You took a deep breath as you entered the room in which the king and his queen awaited you. You bowed despite your status and waited for them to address you before straightening again. Frigga’s eyes were soft as she looked at you. You didn’t doubt that she saw your exhaustion and nervousness. Odin on the other hand didn’t show any kind of emotion. “What is so important, that you wish to discuss it privately?” he asked, voice firm and you tensed. “Well, I am the wife of the dishonoured and imprisoned prince of Asgard and I do believe that the news I have for you would be unpleasant for most of the people around here.” You hid your hands behind your back which straightened your posture even more and gave the impression of you being stronger than you felt while simultaneously allowing you to clench your fists to console your anger.

It never was a secret to you that Odin had a definite favourite in Thor while practically despising the latter’s brother. You had confronted Odin since the beginning, actively taking Loki’s side, no matter what, and in the end refusing to marry Thor but offering to be the younger prince’s wife instead. Saying that he disliked you was probably an understatement but you simply didn’t care. You loved Loki with all your heart, even after his true origin was revealed and even after his attack on Midgard.  
You had always assumed that something was wrong with that, as he seemed more broken than before when he returned to Asgard in chains. Odin had forbid you to see him but on rare occasions, Frigga had gone behind her husband’s back, allowing you some secret time with your husband. You hurt more after every visit, crying yourself to sleep in said nights but your love didn’t waver – it never would and you knew that. You seemed to be the only one apart from Frigga to see more than a monster, to see the loving, caring man you had married.

Odin studied your face for a while and you clenched your jaw slightly. “What matter do you wish to discuss then?” he asked, leaning forward slightly. You lifted your chin and looked him directly into the eye. “I have been suspecting it for a while now but I only got the confirmation a short time ago. I am pregnant and I wish to visit Loki to let him know personally.” You could clearly see the change in both of their faces. While Odin’s grew colder, Frigga smiled softly but there was a sadness in her eyes that told you that she knew how you felt about the situation. And that she understood.  
“How is that possible?” You know that he knew the answer but you responded nevertheless. “Since you’re probably not asking me how one can conceive a child – seeing as you have a son yourself - , I assume there is no need to explain that. I will refuse to tell any names and I will take full responsibility, so whatever punishment you might think about will only be received by me. But despite that, Loki still deserved to know. And seeing as your prior prohibition didn’t keep me from seeing him, I will tell him, either way even though I would prefer it the legal way.”

There was a long silence, before he told you your punishment and dismissed you with the promise of thirty minutes, so you quickly made your way downstairs.

* * *

At first, Loki simply ignored you as you stepped closer to his cell. He only looked up, when the door opened, letting you in. It slid close behind you and you looked at him. You saw the concern in his eyes after he saw that you came with a burden. He was on his feet quickly, taking your hand in his and pulling you close. You closed your eyes and sighed quietly as you pressed yourself against him. When he let go of you, you brushed you fingers across his cheek. His skin was as smooth and cool as you remembered it and you closed your eyes, trying to memorize the feeling.

“What is wrong?” he finally asked the question that hung heavily between you. You sighed, carefully meeting his eyes and smiled softly but sadly. “You’re going to be a father, Loki” you said quietly, only loud enough for him to hear as you fingers brushed through his dark locks. His eyes widened and he stared at you, speechless for the second. “Are you sure?” he asked and you nodded. You could see the excitement building in his eyes but it crumbled when he looked into yours. “There is a twist, isn’t it?” He clenched his fists and you quickly took your hand in his, pressing soft kisses onto the knuckles until they relaxed again.

“We will not be able to see each other again” you started, eyes following the patterns your fingers drew onto his hands. “When I told Odin, he… well, he was quite angry that I went behind his back. I was allowed to tell you under the condition that I would-“ your voice broke and you swallowed harshly. This was even harder than you had expected. One of his hands freed itself from your grip and gently lifted your chin so your eyes met. You could feel the tears burning in your eyes and saw the fear of what you might say next in his. “I was banished from Asgard and I will go to Midgard to live there.”  
You could feel him tense up and again put your hand up against his cheek. “I will be waiting for you. If you ever find a way to get out of here, come to Midgard and find me. Promise me, please” you pleaded, desperate. His eyes met yours again and his gaze softened, then he leaned closer. “I promise” he whispered against your lips before pulling you into a deep kiss. You tried to savour this moment for as long as possible, tried to memorized every little detail because even though he promised, both of you certainly knew, that this was a final goodbye.

No words were spoken afterwards, you just held onto each other until the guards called out for you to leave. Your hand lingered in his for as long as possible as you stepped back reluctantly, never breaking eye contact with him. There were no “I love you”s , “Farewell”s or whatever people might say in this situation. Everything was said with that last kiss and even though you knew you’d never see each other again, both of you found serenity in your last moment together. You opened your other hand and looked down onto the small silver locket resting in it, a final present for a final goodbye. After the years together, you could feel the traces of his magic on it and you smiled.

As you slid it in place, feeling the thin silver chain and the metal pendant cool on your skin, you knew that no matter the distance between you, no matter how persistent Odin might try to separate you, you would always carry a part of him with you. The thought calmed you and made whatever might come onto you in your future bearable.


	2. A Second Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just ignore Infinity War, okay? I think it's better that way

The Sorcerer watched the two Asgardians step through the portal and closed it behind them with a sigh. He was glad they would be gone soon. Still, he was worried. Not about Earth, this time, but about you. 

* * *

You woke up from your dream in cold sweat, your hands grabbed your bedsheets tightly. The feeling of dread still sat in your mind, a strange cold crept up your spine and you shuddered.   
The combination of your magic abilities and your heritage had always made you pretty sensitive for magic traces. Once you knew one well enough, you would recognize it everywhere. The ice cold feeling in your bones and the nausea you experienced were without doubt caused by someone powerful.

Quietly, you sat up and looked around your room. In a smaller bed on the other side of the small room, your daughter was fast asleep. A smile appeared on your lips as you stood up and looked at her. Careful not to wake her up, you pressed a kiss on her forehead before turning towards the window.   
From your room, you could easily overview the most of Kamar-Taj. At the moment, most of the space below was dark and quiet, only some corners were illuminated. Few white snowflakes trailed down to the ground like feathers and it reminded you of your home. Your eyes were drawn to a movement and you smiled as you saw Wong exiting the library. That meant, you hadn’t been asleep for long since he never went to bed after midnight. To calm yourself down, you decided to meditate and quickly took place next to the window, where you started to relax.

* * *

 The next day, you walked over to the portals after finding someone to look after your daughter. You opened the door leading to the New York temple and stepped through, looking around. The air seemed to vibrate slightly and you immediately recognized that feeling. “Thor? What was he doing here?” you mumbled for yourself.   
“He was searching for his father.” The voice cutting through the silence made you flinch and you turned around, eyeing Strange and crossing your arms. “And why would he do that here on Midgard?” you asked sceptically. “Because that is where he spent his last years” the Sorcerer answered. You furrowed your brow. “He is king of Asgard, why would he-” you paused and shook your head. No, that wasn’t possible. As you looked at Strange, you saw in his eyes that it indeed was possible. “No… Why would he do that?" 

"Well, I don’t know the entire story, just that he was dropped off here on Earth by his second son.” You dug your nails into your arms. They probably would leave marks on your skin but you didn’t loosen your grip. Loki was free. Your heart fluttered slightly but then a knot formed in your stomach as you realized something.  
“When was that?” You asked, voice strained. “When did he arrive on Midgard?” Strange looked at you for a while. “About three years ago, if I’m right.”  
You bit your lip. “If- if he has been out for so long, then why didn’t he search for me?” You knew that Strange knew you weren’t talking about Odin anymore. He folded his hands in front of him and sighed. “He did.” You stared at him for a moment, actually dumbfounded. “Pardon me?”  
He eyed you sympathetically. “He did search for you. For quite some time, actually. That’s how I found you and why I brought you to Kamar-Taj. I didn’t want him to sniff around on Earth since he has posed as a danger until now." 

You felt anger bubbling inside you and clenched you fists. "You deliberately kept me away from my husband? How dare you? You had no right to do that!” you yelled at him. Despite your outrage, he stayed calm. “I had. It is my duty to protect Earth from magical threats under which he definitely falls. Also, I have to protect the people in Kamar-Taj and the temples. Including you and your daughter. I know that you still love him and that you always will, no matter what he does. I respect that even though I don’t understand it but that doesn’t mean he has free passages around Earth."   
You glared at him but he didn’t seem bothered by it. "One day, you’ll understand why I did what I did. I just want to know something. Why do you still love him?” You looked at the sorcerer for a long time in disbelief but he seemed genuinely curious. 

 "My people believe, that everybody has a soulmate" you answered, the anger slowly dying down. “Whatever matters here in Midgard when marrying someone, doesn’t matter where I come from. Social status, gender, and religion, whatever might differ between the people - we don’t care. Because we believe that love is one of the greatest powers in the universe and would never stand in its way over these things. And once you find your soulmate, you will never be able to love someone else. There will always be this unspeakable connection between you, a feeling you have with nobody else. That is why I love him. That and because I believe that under the facade of the monster that he shows everyone, that there is a kind and caring man. That the man I love still exists. People never look deeper than the surface. They see the hatred in him but not how broken he is under that layer. How hurt he is. I don’t know what caused him to break like this and I regret that I wasn’t there for him, that I couldn’t support him. I only know that Odin caused the first cracks to appear and that other, more powerful and evil people used these cracks to break him open and tear apart what was on the inside." 

 The doctor looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “I didn’t know that. Still, I’m only trying to protect you. Especially now.” You furrowed your brow. “What exactly do you mean?” you asked warily. He sighed and turned towards the window. “My magical senses are by far duller than yours but even I have felt someone with immense powers emerge her on Earth. So I’m sure you felt it as well. Whoever they were, they’re gone now but I can’t risk you running around, trying to get back to Asgard or doing anything similarly stupid.” You fumbled with the hem of your sleeve. Of course you had felt it. The memory of the feeling of dread was almost as terrible as the feeling itself. “If he comes to Earth once more, I don’t want you to step in between us. I understand and acknowledge that you do what you think is right but the only person to decide what’s right for me, is me. I hope you can respect that.” He turned around to look at you and nodded after a moment. “Of course.”

As you turned to leave, he asked “What are you going to do now?” You sighed and shrugged slightly. “I’m going to be a mother to my daughter. As much as I wish I could storm off and find him, I know that she needs me the most right now. Also, I believe that we will see each other again once the time is right.” Then you left, crossing the portal and continuing your life in Kamar-Taj. Few things had changed. The biggest difference to before was that you finally had hope again.

* * *

Since that day, almost a year had passed. By now, the sorcerer had established contact with the Avengers – or what was left of them. Everyone in Kamar-Taj and the other temples agreed with him – something was coming and they needed every fighter they could get. You seemed to have forgiven him for still separating you and your husband and had not only mastered your own kind of magic but the one he was taught. They were two different types, his coming from and outside source he had learned to utilize, yours coming from a core within your soul that was expressed as an almost physical power. He had seen you fight, using powerful blows, solid barriers and force fields that could crush your enemies. Despite the aggressive nature of your magic, you were a gentle and caring person, always helping more unexperienced students and doing your best to be a good mother. Since your conversation, he had also come to understand more about your people and culture.   
You were part of the royal family of your people, married into Asgard as an addition to the peace treaty your father had signed off with Asgard. It had surprised him that your people had been part of a centuries long war with a neighbouring kingdom, considering your nature and the part of your culture he had seen by now. The treaty with Asgard had been the reason for the end of this war; you had offered to add the marriage despite your beliefs. By now, he had not only gotten to respect you but started to understand why you did things your own way. He offered you more freedoms than most others to allow you to live the way you were taught was right and you had thanked him for it. As an exchange, you spend many hours with Strange and Wong in the library, helping them to understand not only the magic of your people but also all the other kinds you had encountered so far. You had also helped him to refine his grasp for otherworldly magic in case he would someday encounter someone with yet unknown abilities.

Now, he was currently in the Avengers’ headquarters, listening to Tony Stark rambling about something as he felt a surge of energy. He looked up and rose from his seat as he watched some kind of jet approaching the building. “Is there a problem, Doctor?” Stark asked and he gestured towards the object in the sky. “Unless you’re awaiting guests from outer space, there isn’t” he replied and watched as it got closer to the ground. The air seemed to vibrate and he knew that feeling yet somehow it was completely foreign.   
They left the building, all of them cautious of what might happen and watched the jet set onto the grass. A hatch opened. As the first one left, it took all of them a while to recognize him. Gone was the long blonde hair, a golden eyepatch had appeared instead, also there was no hammer in sight. He was followed by a woman in white and golden armour who wore white markings on her face, a creature seemingly made out of stone that carried some kind out huge insect and a very familiar green figure.

The stunned silence was broken by Stark who stepped forward. “Thor! Never thought we’d see you again. What happened to you? And where did you find the Hulk, we’ve been searching for him for a long time. Also, who are the others?” As the Asgardian started to explain, Strange noticed another figure, standing in the opening of the ship. He was dressed differently from their last encounter but due to the locket you always wore, he was all too familiar with the magic trace surrounding him. “I see you brought your brother again” he stated and the others’ gazes turned towards the ship, a tensed silence following. Loki hesitated, then stepped forward. “I’m not here to harm anyone. I normally wouldn’t have come here again no matter what my brother said but-“ he interrupted himself, eying the others carefully.   
“You’re searching for someone”, the sorcerer added and the fallen prince looked at him with surprise. “How do you know that?” Stark asked, equally taken aback. Strange only looked at Loki who seemed suspicious. “I do have to say, she is a remarkable woman. I have learned a lot about her in the past few years. At first I thought, that she was blinded by love but now I know better than that. When I let you fall during our last encounter, I did so to protect her as I didn’t trust you. Since she was frequenting my temple quite often, I had to distract you, otherwise you would have picked up on that.”

“She’s here? On Midgard? Then why did I never find her?” the Asgardian asked, ignoring the hostile postures of the others and stepping forward. “I shielded her from you as I thought that was the right thing. She made it very clear that she didn’t believe that.” Now, Stark stepped forward and drawing their attention. “Wait, who are we even talking about? Who is that ominous woman you protected?” There was a moment of silence, then Loki straightened and looked at the billionaire. “My wife. She was banished from Asgard by Odin for breaking his rules.” He turned back towards the sorcerer. “Where is she?”

Strange looked at him for a moment, then replied “If you’re willing to wait for a little while more, I can bring her here. I still intend to keep you away from the people I’m trying to keep safe, so that is the only thing I can offer you.” He seemed to think about it, then nodded. “Then I will wait.”

* * *

You sat in the library, reading about Kamar-Taj’s history, as Strange entered the room. “Can I help you?” you asked, not looking up from the pages. “I want to show you something. You should pack your things and get your daughter.” Now you looked up, brow furrowed. “Did something happen?” you asked concerned. “You could say that. I’m still not sure if it is good or bad but I promised you something and I intend to keep that promise.” You quickly put the book back, your mind racing to find an explanation for what was happening but nothing you thought about was possible in even the slightest way. After you had packed the few things you had and had picked up your daughter from where she had played, you met Strange on the main square. “Where are we going?” you asked, your heart rate speeding up with nervousness and anticipation. He opened a portal and you eyed the imagery behind it.   
Instead of answering, he motioned you to follow him and stepped through, so you took a deep breath and followed. You looked around the room you were in. A woman with red-ish blonde hair was waiting for you and gave you a polite smile. “I’m Pepper Potts. I will take care of your daughter while you take care of that matter, if that is alright for you” You eyed her carefully before introducing yourself. “I’m Y/N. Why can’t anybody tell me what is going on here?” Strange gave you a small smile. “It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if we did” he said before approaching the door. Your curiosity won over, so you pressed a kiss on top of your daughter’s head, before promising her to be back soon. Pepper seemed kind and Strange trusted her, so you did as well. You straightened and followed the sorcerer down the hall that lead up to a conference room. As you came closer, the locket acted up. You looked down and stopped dead in your tracks as you felt it. The magic was surrounding you, drawn to the small locket that rested on your chest. What shocked you the most wasn’t the fact that you finally felt that kind of magic again but the fact that it was alive and present, not only fading traces. With wide eyes you watched as Strange opened the door only few meters in front of you.

He stepped aside to allow you a look inside and your eyes stared burning as tears welled up in them. Loki turned around as the door opened and your eyes met instantly. You could see everything in them, every emotion and every thought, then you started moving and so did he. You met halfway, taking in each other’s presence, your finger interlacing with his. During your time on Midgard you had seen enough movies where two people reunited with a passionate kiss but this was entirely different. There was so much that had to be said, so many stories to tell and feelings to express yet there were not enough words for it. Not that you needed them. Everything was told in the moment your eyes met. The pain and desperation your separation had brought, the fragile hope for a second chance, the loss of the same and everything else you had felt when you saw each other again. You put your hand against his chest and he pulled you close, resting his forehead against yours. Both of you closed your eyes, revelling in the moment. Whatever the others might think or do didn’t matter, nothing else did. There was just the two of you, trying to understand that this wasn’t a dream but real, that it was true.

You had spent years imagining how a reunion would feel but nothing you had imagined came close to the truth. The aching void your time on Midgard had brought just vanished with the first touch. His free hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your skin and you smiled softly. Then, he leaned forward, brushing his lips against yours and the first tears started to run down your cheeks. He swiped them away and you opened your eyes to see him looking at you. Just like when you said goodbye, there were no words needed. You didn’t have to memorize everything because you knew that now you could feel it again. From now on, you could make new memories every day.

Silently, you sent a thank you to whoever made this possible, to whoever gave you that second chance. The moment reminded you of your last time together yet it was so entirely different. The unspoken words weren’t desperate but hopeful. Your kiss wasn’t passionate and to make memories but soft and the beginning of a new chapter. And you knew that no one could ever tear the both of you apart again, no matter what might happen. You knew you had a difficult future before you but the thought of having Loki by your side made it bearable.

It took a while for you to speak. You looked at him and saw the man you fell in love with, mixed with whatever was done to him. Determination filled you. You would do everything to get this man back, to show not only Midgard but everyone in the Nine Worlds that he wasn’t a monster but a man. You gently stroked his cheek and smiled softly, before quietly saying “Our daughter is waiting. I believe you two should finally meet.” His eyes lightened up a little and he smiled himself. “I’d love to.”


End file.
